Addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division are not my strengths. Unless the situation absolutely demands it, I don’t do numbers.
I do words.
Thank goodness my social security number is easy to remember. Our street address, too — it’s the same, minus a one, as the address where I grew up. Our phone number back then was 1128W, but our current number? Let me think. I can remember my own age (odd years are easier than even), and that my husband is seventy years older than our dog who is five.
The blasted multiplication tables handed me yet another comeuppance not too long ago. The seven-inch magnifying mirror I’ve had for at least five years has a modest sticker that whispers 5X. If that means what I think, then my face looks five times larger than when it’s reflected on the non-magnifying side. I can handle that. That bit of up-sizing helps me pencil in my balding eyebrows, and darken, clumpily, my graying lashes.
Over the past months though, I’ve noticed I haven’t been able to see what I was doing to myself at 5X as clearly as before. I found a three-inch “purse-size” one that shouted 10X on a sticky label that covered the glass. By my calculations, ten times the magnification should be big enough.
What must I look like to others?
Where is that glib woman who used to boast, “I’ve earned every wrinkle I’ve got”? My face is ready for Halloween! All I need is a black pointy hat and a broom.
I have the broom.