Tales that wag the dogs.

There were 200 days between December 23, 2019 and July 10, 2020. That’s 28 weeks and four days when there was no dog in the house. For the first half of that period I wouldn’t even consider a replacement for Nobby. He was irreplaceable anyway. Nobby really belonged to my husband Peter, but after he moved into dementia care, Nobby and I carried on. He was a big presence, 90 pounds of gentleness who had served, early on, as a therapy dog at nursing homes.

Midway through the period I decided I needed another dog. Easier said than done. COVID precautions meant that adopting a pet from the SPCA is quite difficult. I found several that suited my requirements—20-35 pound range, preferably terrier-like, young-to-middle aged. But all of them—Silo, Toto, Abby, Marvin and Bently to name a few—were either adopted by someone whose meet-and-greet appointment was earlier than mine, or weren’t really suitable for me or, in one case, the owner decided against giving up her pet.

Daughter Leslie shepherded me through most of the choices and disappointments while her sister Carolynn coached me on from afar. She even found a likely candidate, Lucky, who was rescued near her, albeit 596 miles away from me! It was Carolynn who discovered Carolina-based Westie Rescue Southeast had rescued several West Highland Terriers. I’ve loved those little dogs since I met Ben in Yorkshire years ago. He was son-in-law Martin’s family dog.  Carolynn and Bill have two Westies now.

I’ve never had a dog of my own, a dog I chose, named and trained. Quite often Carolynn had a hand in the arrival of the dogs I fed and cleaned up after through the years.

“Mo-o-mmm, please can I keep her?” Carolynn, 18 or 19 at the time, came home from classes at community college, a puppy in her arms and tears in her eyes. “They were going to use her in the lab for vivisection!” Her tear streaked cheeks, hard sell and my guilt were persuasive.

Cupid, the only female we’ve ever had, matured into a sweet dog. She did snack on the weatherstrips around my car windows when she was confined to the garage though. She moved out with her mistress, but returned several years later when Carolynn relocated to an apartment where dogs weren’t allowed.

Cupid’s life and residency overlapped with a shaggy, white terrier-mix. Carolynn and Leslie rescued him from the SPCA. They brought him home as a present for Peter and I two nights before our wedding. They’d already named him PJ…Peter…Judy. My lips said yes, but it had to be Peter’s decision—he’d never had a dog. He nodded his head and said, “His name is Fred.”

Fred was so easy-going he never would have gotten in trouble if Cupid hadn’t led him astray. Even though our back yard was fenced she flew over it as if she had wings. She was a gazelle in Lab-mix clothing. Fred, not an athlete, waited for the four-foot snows common to upstate New York then walked over the fence to join Cupid cavorting around the village.

Years on—Fred was an only dog by then—Carolynn called to ask me to come to her apartment one Sunday morning. She had something to show me. I insisted she come to us since her sister was home visiting. She arrived with a wiggly black bundle under her jacket. “Please, Mom, please keep him. Bill rescued him. They were going to drown him with his litter-mates.” Her eyes overflowed. “I’d keep him but you know I can’t have a dog.” I knew Peter would like this little guy whose outsized puppy feet were a sure sign he’d be a big adult. And he was. Decker was a smart, energetic Border Collie/Golden Retriever mix who, at his heaviest, weighed 118 pounds.

When Fred left us Decker was glum. Months later we met a woman with a little dog who, at distance, resembled Fred. Decker revived. As age crept up, his main ailment, the autoimmune disease pemphigus, led to him being a case study for our local vet, Cornell University and ultimately Virginia Tech Veterinary College. “No more dogs ever,” Peter said when we returned home from our last goodbye.

And so it was for nearly five years. Then, a chance meeting with two Goldendoodles while visiting friends near Seattle and Peter forgot his vow. Around that same time, dementia began to tighten its grip on him. My gift for his seventieth birthday was to suggest he rescue a dog from the SPCA or pick a Goldendoodle puppy from a local breeder’s newest litter.

He chose the calmest, shyest little Goldendoodle in the pen. Nobby. Though I’d hoped for a smaller dog, Nobby weighed in at 90 pounds. He was a gentle sweet-tempered and beloved pet for nearly twelve years.

By mid-April I began an exhausting, frustrating search for my dog. I lost count of how many I almost got, how many sites I trolled searching for size, temperament, cuteness. I really wanted a Westie.

My luck finally changed when Westie Rescue Southeast contacted me. Pippa, an eight-year-old female, was ready to be adopted. I’d sent in my application and names of three references weeks before. Next I was asked to send photos of my fenced yard. Promising! Leslie drove me to a meet-and-greet in North Carolina. Two days later her foster mom delivered Pippa to me.

My dog! Pippa. Leslie suggested “Scout”  for Pippa’s middle name. Because was instrumental in helping me get her, and since Pippa loves to “scout” for chipmunks in my flower beds, Scout is her title, Joy, her middle name. She is a joy, a funny, smart scamp, all 18 pounds of her. And she was so worth waiting for!

 

 

 

2016 National Society of Newspaper Columnists’ contest finalist. 

Augusts past.

It’s been eight-and-a-bit months since I posted here. Tsk.  On January 17 I wrote about a favorite trip we took in August 2017! Thirteen months have passed. Tsk tsk.

Time flies.

In the 12 years following husband Peter’s retirement and before dementia tightened its grip, we were lucky enough to have a lot of wonderful trips—to Norway, Africa, Netherlands, to Mexico, Alaska, and Canada, plus several trips to England. But the August trip in 2017 was his last to a favorite destination—upstate New York where daughter Carolynn and her husband Bill live, and where we’d lived for 17 years. Not that Peter remembered we lived there, nor the house that we lived in all that time.

Last month I visited on my own—Peter is now in a memory care facility. I’d thought I might drive the 596 miles, stopping halfway like we did in previous years. But Leslie convinced me to fly. “You’ll be so tired, Mom. That’s such a long drive by yourself.”

I argued I’d been doing all the driving for several years, though Peter was along for company. He couldn’t help with the driving, but he was there, not talking, but there. That did help.

So I flew. I was nervous. Silly, really, because I traveled alone when I worked, plus all the trips Peter and I took involved long flights to unfamiliar places. Still, I managed to get myself to New York even though I overslept because I’d set my alarm to 6:15 p.m. instead of 6:15 a.m.

Carolynn was waiting in Syracuse and she whisked me eastward across the NYSThruway to home away from home.

The miserable hot weather didn’t do us any favors that week, nor did the almost daily drenchings, but it was all good. A pretty hike at Chittenango State Park, shopping and, best of all, I helped process honey. In truth I couldn’t spin the honey fast enough or for very long, so I sat on a chair and held a heat gun at the side of the stainless steel drum while Carolynn and her honey of a helper, Robin, turned it.

The buzz.

Last year Carolynn finally realized one of her long-held dreams when she bought the equipment needed to raise bees and gather their honey. With the bees came a Bill-built shelter for the hives. This year he outdid himself when he built a honey house that is part she-shack, part bee-shack. Seeing it for the first time was enough to make me think about keeping bees too.

Nearly all the materials and most of the furnishings were reclaimed from garage and builder’s sales, from the side of the road, and from Peter’s workshop. It is such a “bee-utiful” space where the Queen Bee hosted me, Robin and her mom Pat at a relaxing, scrumptious lunch—puff pastry quiche, fresh fruit, and honey cupcakes—plus hotly contested rounds of canasta.

So, would I go there again? You betcha.

Right in my own backyard.

The adventures husband Peter and I used to have are part of my memories and photo albums. His increasingly confused state — dementia has gained on him — keeps us home now. He has no memories of our trips, nor do my pictures help him remember. Last fall, for the first three days of an eight day visit to daughter Carolynn and husband Bill, Peter didn’t know where he was. We’d lived in that same little village for seventeen years.
* * *

Daffodil in snow.

The first week of this month, Carolynn and her friend Robin traveled to us with inflexible determination to give me a special week “in my own backyard.” The bumper sticker on Carolynn’s new car said “Rescue Mom.”

Before the two left upstate New York early on a snowy Saturday morning, they’d issued orders for me to list anything they could do to help with during their week. Not wanting to look a gift-horse in the mouth, I did start a list, but lost it amongst the clutter in my office. I really wanted to just enjoy them, not put them to work on the pesky tasks that had piled up. That idea didn’t fly.

They arrived  Saturday evening. Sunday was family brunch, cards, and dinner out, but Monday they were all about the chores. Granddaughter Samantha was in town, so they appointed her secretary to their two-woman crew. And then they set to work.

Coincidentally, Leslie provided work shirts for the family crew. From left, Carolynn, Sam, me, Leslie.

They fixed nearly all the meals, grocery shopped, baked bread, cookies, muffins; organized files, cookbooks, kitchen cupboards, and my office; surprised me with muffins at breakfast on my birthday, and planned a birthday feast. (Leslie, around as much as she was able during her busiest time of the year, reminded them about my requirement for tin roof sundaes instead of cake.) Since Sam likes a clean car, I suggested she clean mine. She did,

Twice they shoved me out of the house, once to get a pedicure, once, a massage. I didn’t protest too much.

They gardened and washed windows, we shopped and played cards, watched movies and read, they made multiples of sock bunnies and we fit in “Beauty and the Beast” their final evening.

All in all, that week was a “trip” anyway I look at it. And I’ve got the pictures to prove it.

Over the week the list expanded to two pages. By the end, everything was crossed off, even ‘bake chocolate chip cookies’ that Sam added for herself.

Fluffle of sock bunnies.

 

Color July happy.

The peacefulness, the quiet, the river running through all make “The River,” as we call it, one of my very favorite places. Our very small family all gathered there July Fourth weekend — Leslie and Martin, their Samantha and Jeremiah, Sam’s friend Hannah, Carolynn and Bill, Peter and me. Oh, and the dogs Tillie, Huckleberry, Gooseberry, and Nobby.

Such a special time for so many reasons. The holiday weekend was extended because Carolynn and Bill stayed through Friday, and that gave us extra time to do what we do best — eat, shop, talk, play cards, wade, swim, laugh, color, and, did I say, eat?

Color July watermelon red, homemade vanilla ice cream white, and blueberry pie blue. Then add peach pie gold, summer green salad, strawberry ice cream pink, and fresh corn yellow. Add in the grilled shades of beef tenderloin, Polish sausage, and beer butt chicken to picture our feasts.

Coloring July Fourth.

 

Rock. Hard place.

If your age is north of seventy and south of eighty, let’s say, and you decide to go tubing on a rocky river, you might want consider the saying, “Caught between a rock and a hard place.” I did not and I wish I had.

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This is how we looked when we went tubing in my day.

On Sunday, Leslie, Martin, and Samantha convinced me to go tubing, something I hadn’t done for, oh, sixty years! Back then, I was a flexible teenager who wore a bathing suit and cap instead of baggy water shorts and tee-shirt, and I tubed in a slow-moving central-Ohio river with no rapids, while drifting lazily in the noonday sun.

When Leslie rolled the tubes out the shed door the memories flooded back — the faint sweet smell of talc, the satiny black tube, the comfy bounce that would cushion me. Ah-h!

Sam’s tube veered left out of the shed and, though she gave chase, it picked up speed and bounded down through the woods like a cat with a firecracker you-know-where. My granddaughter inherited her fear of snakes from me and wasn’t about to go after it. Leslie and Martin found the tube and saved the day.

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I’d been led to believe the Smith River’s gentle rapids were Class I, but I’ve since learned they’re likely Class II. The trip was a bit like a kiddie roller-coaster. Getting situated in aslippery inner tube was laughable; getting back into it, after I’d impaled myself on rocks and ditched, was painfully hilarious. Harder still was keeping my bum elevated so the jutting rocks wouldn’t become weapons, ahem, of ass destruction

On Monday, I remembered every rock and hard place I’d met the day before.